(Chocolate on chocolate on chocolate)
It’s a terrible thing to stop feeling – and I don’t mean nerve endings and pinpricks and stubbed toes.
I mean feeling the life that you’re living, the weight of the decisions you’re making, the person that you are.
Whether we are swept away by busyness or buried in to do’s or if we have stopped feeling some time ago because we’ve lost the ability to sense our own existence in all its potency – whatever the reason, it’s a loss and it’s worth getting back.
Existing is not easy. We hurt and are disappointed and fail. We are abandoned and undervalued and forgotten.
But it’s important to feel, to sense ourselves and our losses, scars and pains.
What cuts you to the quick?
Not something someone else does to you or a memory that could shatter your happy facade, but something so basely human that you feel it in your soul.
(You should feel your soul; knowing it’s there is not enough.)
What stirs you?
I made a decision years ago to be raw.
As it turns out, it really isn’t as brave as it seems. In fact, it’s far more orienting and secure than I had imagined.
It’s not the kind of ‘raw’ that people claim when they are truly addicted to romanticized darkness and pain. It’s the kind of raw that decided to be whole and to deal with things as they come. It’s the kind of raw that decides not to be wrapped and cushioned from reality. The kind of raw that craves.
I hope that you are not afraid to be raw, to feel your life.