(A lovely gluten-free almond torte and a pot of tea)
I read somewhere that living life is like riding a bike or driving a car: we look ahead, to where we want to go. If we stare at the ground directly in front of us, or if we look to the right or left, we end up crashing.
Similarly, if we are focused on what we don’t want to become, we can’t help but become it.
Let me explain.
Most of us know someone who does not like one of their parents. For whatever reason, they hate their father or mother. They spend their life agonizing over this relative, swearing that they will never be like them.
They become their parent. They can’t help it. They are looking at their father’s rage, or their mother’s manipulation. It’s the only model of behavior that they are focused on, so they will begin to pattern themselves after it.
If you don’t want to be like that, then pick something you do want to be like. Focus on that instead. Look ahead, at where you’re going.
What we choose to focus on shapes our lives. It determines the direction we go in.
If we are focused on something negative – a past experience, something we hate about ourselves, a relative we don’t want to be like – then we inevitably make it bigger than it is.
If we are focused on something positive – a goal, a person we do want to be like, our dreams – then the bad things become less important. They fall away in our efforts to grasp the good things we are focused on.
What are you looking at?