I may live in Tennessee now, but I haven’t always. Texas may be south, but it’s not Deep South. And besides, I lived in Sweden for 2 years (I’ve only been stateside for 8 months), which is the exact opposite of southern culture.

It’s safe to say I’ve had some culture shock.

Friendly people do not frighten me. But some of the things I’ve heard these friendly people say, I do find a little puzzling at the very least.

 

(Apparently these is required in every home. Not necessarily the honey Jack, but Jack must be there.)

Heard In the South:

“She’s a preacher’s wife! And, I mean, I’m not judging her… I’m just inspecting her fruit.”

(This was said to me when S showed up at my work as I was getting off)
“Oh look! You have your sugar booger! Y’all have fun now!”

“You should check that place out.”
“Do they serve fried squirrel? I like fried squirrel.”

“I’m out like a fat kid in dodge ball.”

“My mama always said: ‘You don’t get your honeys where you make your money.'”

“Is that thunder?”
“Yep. There’s a big old thunder-booper right over your head.”
(I still don’t know what a ‘thunder-booper’ is…)

“It’s hotter than deep fried hell in here!”

“…and, Lord, bless this food.”
“Yeah! Amen! Get ’em preacher!”
(This wasn’t even at a church function. This was said a dinner party. A formal dinner party.)

“This says ‘Mustang Parts’. Do you think they mean ‘mustang’, like, the car? Or ‘mustang’, like, the horse?”

“How many roses come in a half-dozen?”

And shout-out to my sweet husband, who was born and raised in Tennessee, and almost escaped with no accent. He has trouble with short i sounds, like the word ‘hill’. He pronounces it ‘heel’. Throws me off every single time, since most of his words come out mostly normal…